


Pocket Cuddles

by Randy Thrandy (UnshadowedHeart)



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, And Lots of It, Basically Porn, F/M, Female Bilbo, Gangbang, Genderbend, Genderswap, Hobbits as sex uruks, Kink Meme, Multiple Partners, Oral Sex, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Slutty Hobbits, Vaginal Sex, fem!Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:53:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnshadowedHeart/pseuds/Randy%20Thrandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the creator of hobbits, of course Gandalf would implore they bring one along with them. They had always been taught hobbits were sexual creatures, to be used- sex with hobbits didn't 'count.' They had no idea the little creatures came with fiery personalities to match.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt for the kinkmeme (warning p long): _You know how Saruman makes Uruks in muddy pits, and they pretty much kill everything and are violent and stuff? (Also all male, far as I can tell.)_
> 
> _Well, in a similar way, Gandalf, the pervy old wizard, makes Hobbits. And they are a bunch of predominantly female mini-beings that Gandalf grows in the Shire. Pretty much the polar opposite of a Uruk, especially since their main purpose is having sex. They are incapable of falling in love romantically, though they still have friends and enemies and people they care about. They are tiny, but can can easily accommodate the largest human man. (or two, if that's what you're into.) They really, really like sex. They can't get pregnant. They are pretty much the optimal sex toy, except with a personality. What's more, sex with hobbits doesn't 'count'. So, it's not seen as cheating, and if you're a virgin before you were with a hobbit, you're still a virgin afterwards._
> 
> _Thorin wants to reclaim Erebor. And he has a band of dwarves. Gandalf, however, informs him that leaving for this quest without a hobbit would be a very very bad idea, and one of his hobbits would certainly be up for the journey. So, he introduces Bilbo (who's a girl, like 99% of hobbits), and Bilbo is cool with the idea, and voila, the dwarves have a hobbit._
> 
> _At first, it's kind of awkward, because the dwarves don't know what to do around her, how to treat her. When someone said 'hobbit' they expected some little thing without a personality, not this thing that's every much a person as they are. No one initiates anything until Bilbo's like 'oh for fuck's sake, give me a dick, got any kinks?' Basically, Bilbo is just like any member of the party when they're traveling, except when they stop to make camp, she gets naked and anyone gets a turn (or multiple dwarves at once, or whatever). She can still fight orcs and goblins and climb trees and do everything she could do before._
> 
> _+Bilbo can't fall in love with them, but she grows extra fond of Thorin and always tries to cheer him up when he's in a bad mood. (Aww, is someone angry? Does someone want to fuck my mouth while Dwalin takes me from behind? Would that cheer you up?)_  
>  +One of them (I can't help but see Bofur) doesn't really want to have sex with Bilbo, but he is one of those people who likes to fiddle with things, so sometimes he'll sit with her naked on his lap and just finger her absentmindedly, or play with her breasts.  
> +When Thorin first sees Bilbo, he's like 'no way, we're going to hurt her,' so Gandalf has her hitch up her skirt and he sticks things (toys? fingers?) in her until Thorin sees that she has the equivalent of three dwarf dicks in her and is unharmed and loving it.  
> +One (or more) of the dwarves have a kink they're super embarrassed about, but Bilbo is totally cool with when they finally work up the courage to tell her. 
> 
> _Tl;dr: Bilbo is from a species of sex toys designed by the worlds creepiest wizard, and she goes on an adventure with the dwarves, all of whom she has a lot of sex with. She enjoys it a ton, as do the dwarves. Lots of fun is had by all. No feelings beyond friendship and lust are involved._
> 
> _In case it isn't obvious, I just kind of want porn in this sort of world, so any filler could skip world building and plot if they so chose._
> 
> Original prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/5346.html?thread=11182562#t11182562
> 
> This is going to be long and porny :D

When Gandalf had suggested they take a Hobbit on their journeys as a "burglar" the company had been apprehensive and even amused. Hobbits were little sex kittens, what use would it be to bring one along as a _burglar_?

Gandalf hadn't said anything more, only given them where to find a respectable Hobbit; respectable only in the sense a Hobbit could be respectable, because any other race would find that rather unreasonable.

When they arrived at the house and were let in by the tiny creature they had been surprised how fussy and excitable she was. Here she was, ranting about doilies and plumbing and dishes and how the dwarves had all but destroyed her home from the inside out, and they had thought all this time that Hobbits were nothing but mere sex toys, things without personalities, slaves to the flesh.

And yet, very clearly, they saw she was just as much a sentient person as they were.

As they all sat down, some with pipe weed, to examine the map, they noticed that Bilbo was peering over Gandalf and Thorin with wide eyes, curious and gripping her candle rather tightly. Her proclamation for loving maps and how it was a 'hobby' of her's was another surprise to them. There were a lot to Hobbits they had yet to find out.

"This is all well and good," Thorin stated as he set down his pipe and fingered the key Gandalf has bestowed upon him. "But why should we employ the Hobbit as a burglar? She is…well, a Hobbit. We have no need for one of _them_ on this trip."

Bilbo made a little noise in the back of her throat, like she were offended by the tone in Thorin's voice. She crossed her arms and huffed at the prince, rather unamused by his blatant, crude nature. Practically insulting her- and in her own home, too!

"Do not be so hasty to disregard Hobbits," Gandalf hummed as he motioned for Bilbo to come closer, tugging her under his arm. "They are quite deft and quiet. They could disappear from right under your nose if you're not careful! Besides, they are good for boosting the morale of traveling companies and stress relief, too." Gandalf seemed quite content to pull Bilbo into his lap, the little creature sitting comfortable, longways across his legs.

"I know of what you speak and I know that it would do as you say, however…" Thorin laid eyes on the petite dame, looking her up and down from her furry feet to her curly hair, big, doe-like eyes and child-like face. She was so tiny, even compared to a dwarf. "However I am afraid we might hurt her. She's a fair woman, wizard, I will admit to that. But I highly doubt she would last a single night with a virile dwarf of my company."

Bilbo looked offended, and jumped to her feet. "Now see here, master dwarf!" She shoved a finger in his face, pointing accusingly to him. "What do _you_ know about Hobbits, hm? Have you ever had one in your company? Have you ever spent any extended interaction with them? Of course you haven't, I didn't think so. So don't go mixing up any ideas you have about humans or lady dwarves or any of that, because I assure you that I am quite capable of any man they comes to me."

After Bilbo's little speech Gandalf motioned for her to come back to him. She huffed and settled comfortably in his lap once more, looking very upset at the fact that Thorin believed they might _hurt_ her by doing something she was _meant_ to do.

"You have no need to worry about harming her, I assure you," Gandalf promised as he patted Bilbo's petite shoulders. "I could give you a demonstration, even." There was a little noise of approval from the Hobbit as she heard this, knowing exactly what would happen if Gandalf went through with that 'demonstration.'

The wizard pointed to the counter behind a few of the dwarves, there a pile of candles was lying. "Hand me at least ten."

The dwarves nervously handed over the long, thin candles and watched as Gandalf set them down where he could easily pick them up. "Bilbo, if you would be so kind?"

"Oh, of course." She slid off his lap and hiked up her skirt, flushing as she gave them all a sheepish smile. She was no stranger to being naked around men, but this was a first time being naked around fourteen of them.

Some of the dwarves turned their heads, as if trying to give her privacy, while others stared unabashedly with great delight. Many of them had yet to see a woman unclothed for many months and this would be a great treat.

She returned to Gandalf's lap, facing out at them with her legs spread, a shy smile gracing her lips as she looked away nervously. She was always a little nervous around new people, but that would change. She wiggled as she felt the end of a candle spreading her lips open and pushing inside of her.

There was no discomfort to be seen, and Bilbo was mewling and wriggling under Gandalf's ministrations, like he was _teasing_ her. She had three candles in her by the time she was even sounding like it was having an actual cock in her. She moaned heartily and wriggled in the wizard's lap, back bowed and arched into the hand cupping her breast through her shirt.

"As you can see, she's easily taking the size of just one of you." Gandalf then proceeded to press more candles into her open cunt, until he'd fit all ten inside her with a little wiggling and stretching in the process. "And now she's taking more than three times that."

The dwarves had expected to see Bilbo writhing in pain, keening and begging for there to be less. But…she seemed to only want _more_. She was mewling and wiggling in Gandalf's lap, looking for friction; very much enjoying herself. And she was _fine_.

"Ohh, bloody hell, Gandalf, you c-can't tease me like this!" Bilbo slapped Gandalf's thigh, reaching down herself to give a good rub as she gripped the candles. She had to use both hands to move them all in and out of herself. Regardless of how much hand power it took, she spent herself right then and there in front of the company.

Tuckered out, Bilbo curled up in Gandalf's lap for the remainder of their meeting. When she was handed the contract she was hardly awake, but she was still very much outraged and horrified by the million ways she could die on this trip. Bofur's inclinations to explaining the dragon only persuaded her to faint.

The night went on, as it should, with Bilbo refusing wholeheartedly and the company looking around with some relief on their faces, and also some disappointment. They would face the journey without a hobbit, as they had intended to do before. Gandalf still attempted to convince her, and spent a lot of effort into it.

And in the morning she woke up, alone, no one in her home, with only the contract to stare at her from the table and an empty pantry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys try out their new Hobbit

Running over a mile to catch up with the company didn't help her complexion. Bilbo huffed and puffed, waving around the contract until she had finally caught up. She held out the contract, nodding to Balin and smiling wide. All she could think was _an adventure- how_ grande.

Once she was placed on a pony and handed a ragged piece from Bofur's shirt as a "handkerchief" she was starting to regret having to be in the company of such rugged men. Hmph. Dwarves.

That night when they made camp Bilbo was ready to lie down and take a good dicking. She was excited for it, even. She hunkered down, laying open on her bedroll and waiting for someone to approach her.

Until no one did.

At first she just assumed they were shy, so she held out. A couple nights was no skin off her nose. But when two weeks had past and she had yet to be approached by one of the company she found herself incredibly irritated. Were they still worried about _hurting_ her? She could easily take three of them in one hole and they didn't see that.

When they made camp that night she wondered if she should speak up. When she made eye contact with someone they awkwardly glanced away from her just as quickly.

"Alright, I've about had it with you all," she snapped, taking a place at the center of the camp. Everyone either looked to her or pointedly ignored it. "Now, someone give me a dick. I'm not going to break and I'm more than open to do anything unorthodox, if that's your thing."

Everyone shuffled awkwardly, and though she was clearly demanding someone come forward, no one did. Bilbo stomped up to Thorin first and grabbed him by the front of his jerkin. "Why don't we start with the king? Since you're oh so important."

Thorin choked on a breath of air as he stared at the hobbit, now tugging at his coat and tugging him towards the fire that Bofur was setting. He sputtered out a few words, but found them sticking in his throat as they sunk down to the bedroll that Bilbo had already laid out.

Several of the dwarves turned away or went to do their own thing, whether it be out of respect or lack of interest. A few, however, stuck around to watch the fireworks. Bilbo was pleased to see they would want to watch, because she would give a good show if she thought it was needed.

"Don't be afraid to be rough," Bilbo assured him, already shucking off her clothing. She lay under Thorin, bare and eager, a delighted look on her face as she fingered his belt. The flushed king let her do the work, thinking it better than getting in the way.

Bilbo had her legs around his waist once his trousers had been tossed off. She flushed with enjoyment, seeing the dwarf's thick arousal reacting so fondly to her. As he pressed the head between her slick lips she saw him hesitate. "You act like you'll break me."

"What if I do?"

The hobbit snorted and crossed her arms over her naked chest, giving him a _very_ unamused look. "Did you not pay attention to Gandalf?" She then tightened the grip she had around her waist and yanked him forward with her thighs until he sunk deep inside her. She mewled, her legs twitching as she tossed her head back. _Oh_ , finally having a good dick in her after so long was great. And _big_ , too.

Thorin groaned from above her, hands splayed on the bedroll as he stilled himself, staring down at the hobbit writhing and squirming and bucking back on him and- and she was taking every inch and mewling for more.

Spurred on by the hobbit's enthusiasm, Thorin tilted his hips and pulled and pushed, his rhythm finding more speed the more Bilbo moaned beneath him. He thumbed her clit and made her cry out, arching into his hand.

"Slap 'er tits around!"

Thorin glared at whoever had shouted that, not entirely paying attention. He was going to take his own sweet time and do whatever he wished with the hobbit. He wasn't there to give a show. However, he did decide to give Bilbo's breast a squeeze, leaning down to bury himself between her chest. Dwarf women were flatter than the hobbit, and he certainly didn't object to seeing them a little bigger. Not too big, or inproportionate, but they were enough to grab and play with and push together around a cock.

Bilbo giggled, cupping both breasts in her hands and gladly humoring the dwarf as he kissed between them, burying his face in the soft warmth. She moaned, her hands straying up a little further to grasp his shoulders and pull him up higher, driving him deeper inside her.

Thorin hammered into her with one hand on her breast and the other on her hip, steadying her as his cock dove in and out. She was rubbing herself in time with every thrust, every moan escaping her punctuated with a soft grunt from the king above her.

Bilbo came with a high pitched keen, leaving her a mess of oversensitivity as Thorin continued on. His thrusts were becoming erratic and heavy as his balls tightened and cock twitched. He gave a magnificent roar of completion as he achieved orgasm, breathing hard and going still when he ran out of momentum.

Semen tricked out of the hobbit when Thorin pulled away, leaving her spread out and slick, for anyone to take if they so chose. Bilbo sighed softly and pulled her knees together, eyes slipped shut.

She gasped as she felt hands on her shoulders and looked up, seeing Fili staring down at her. Hands on her knees alerted her to Kili opposite his brother. She smiled shyly to them and let Fili guide her hand down to his trousers, where his cock was already unclothed and needy.

Bilbo was more than willing to take care of them, delighted even when she found Kili's head between her legs. She mewled as he lapped at her sex, the semen leaking from her being licked away. She shuddered and grasped for Fili, comfortably pressing against his thigh as they moved into position.

The hobbit lapped at the cock presented to her, her hand gripping Fili's thigh as he tilted his hips forward. Her legs were crossed at the ankles over Kili's head, thighs pressing against the scruff of his sideburns, his chin rubbing against the base of her cunt to make her squirm and squeal whenever he pressed his face in a little harder.

Bilbo had a feeling she was completely cleaned out by the time Kili pulled his head up. She was too busy with Fili occupying her mouth to protest the younger of the brothers from stopping. There weren't too many protests when Kili replaced his mouth with something much more satisfying.

As experienced as she was, Bilbo had never taken two at once. And so far she wondered why she'd never done it because it was _fantastic_. She shuddered and sucked sweetly on Fili as his brother penetrated her slow and gently. She was still sensitive from her earlier orgasm and Kili's gentle fucking just make it all that much better.

"Too bad hobbits don't count when you're trying to lose your virginity," FIli snickered from his end, reaching over to shove his brother playfully. Kili just glared at his brother; Bilbo had to remind herself not to laugh, lest she choke on Fili's cock.

Kili came first, his orgasm quiet but no less powerful than Thorin's had been. Bilbo focused on Fili, rolling over to swallow up more of him in a more comfortable position. She gasped as she felt another pair of hands groping her behind and spreading her out until she could feel Kili's cum sliding down her thighs.

When she glanced over her shoulder she saw Dwalin kneeling behind, hands groping her and fingers prodding her sex. She gasped as his thick fingers opened her up, curling up into her g-spot as she twitched and moaned around Fili's cock. The heir's fingers slid through her hair, and suddenly cinched tight, shoving her down until he could shoot her throat full of his cum.

The next thing she knew she was on her back, staring up at Dwalin with a dizzy smile. This was going to be one hell of a night.


End file.
